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Vaginal moisturizer for life????
MissMurgatroyd
Hello all
For anyone who had and then treated vaginal atrophy with topical estrogen - did you find in the end you could stop using vaginal moisturisers like YES, Sulk or Replens completely? As in after treatment kicked in, did you provide enough of own lubrication to be comfortable? I'm thinking in day to day life more than sex.
I'm just wondering whether I'll be using these products for life which I find rather depressing. I realise the topical estrogen is for ever though
Interested to hear your thoughts.
Xxx
1
Today 02:11
Treating my brother's stepchildren exactly like niece and nephew
Vote
WatchingFlowersGrow
My brother met his now wife 3 years ago. They moved in together after 6 months and married last month.
He has 2 children, my nephew and niece, from his previous marriage who are 16 and 14. He now also has a step son and step daughter who are 15 and 14 who don’t see their dad so live with their mum and my brother full time. My niece and nephew used to stay with their dad 3 nights a week but since his wife and kids moved in, they don’t see their dad as often and hardly ever stay over. His step children are very different to his children and they don’t really get on. My nephew was also expected to share a room with his step brother and my niece with his step sister which neither of them like doing.
Now that they’re married, my brother has said he expects us to treat all the children the same. When I asked what he meant by this he said that he wasn’t happy with us doing things with our niece and nephew and not including his step children. He also says that it’s obvious we spend more on our niece and nephew for birthdays and Xmas and that needs to be equal now.
I plan on taking my niece to a concert if we can get tickets and my brother says if I do that, I need to take his step daughter as well. I don’t want to and my niece doesn’t want her there either so has said she would rather not go. I also don’t think it’s right that we either have to spend more on my brothers step children or reduce the amount we spend on my niece and nephew at birthdays and Xmas.
We are kind to my brothers step children and we buy them gifts but obviously they’re not my niece and nephew and I don’t have the same relationship with them.
I’ve spoken to my niece and nephews mum and she says that they really value our relationship with us and are worried about things changing. They have told their mum that if their step siblings have to be included in things they do with us, then they would rather not do them.
My brothers step children are very different to my niece and nephew. They are very loud, misbehave at school and are in with a cool troublesome group at school. My nephew and niece are on the quieter side, do well at school and are very bookish so the total opposite really.
AIBU to tell my brother he can’t dictate my relationship with all of the children? How would you react?
41
Today 02:13
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Have you fallen out of “love” with a shop you previously loved?
Britpopbaby
For me it’s &Other Stories. Granted I looked in yesterday and did try something in but there’s been a change of direction and Inam not liking it.
353
Yesterday 22:11
AIBU to feel upset by my mother-in-law's message about visits?
Vote
Mamibaba
I have been with my partner for 12 years and we moved into our house 3.5 years ago, I invited mother in law over to see the house that first summer she never showed and when I saw her months later she said she had decided to wait until house was finished to see it. After that I only saw her once a year at weddings etc. Last year I became pregnant and did not see her throughout the pregnancy. She came over to see the baby and I have since been taking the baby to her house every 6 weeks or so. Baby is now 11 months old and partner has never taken the baby to his mother’s house and has not seen his mother for over 8 months. Last week she asked me and the baby over on the Friday and I said no as we already had plans and would come over another day. She has since text my partner saying ‘ I want to know the baby but finding it difficult as everytime I try I’m not allowed’ am I right to be angry as I feel that she’s thrown my visits back in my face just because she didn’t get her way that day.
167
Yesterday 08:38
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Inheritance and DH
Vote
iht
I’m about to inherit about £62k from my Aunt. My plan was to pay off the mortgage of £22k and invest the rest. My DH has made a few jokes about how I could give him some. We do have separate finances because we met later in life, and I had a house and he didn’t.
I had an inheritance a few years ago and paid off his car loan and also paid off our wedding debt of £10k. I also had paid for our honeymoon.
The thing is, he’s one of life’s spenders whereas I’m a saver. It means he rarely has savings, but I do. He has 3 cars worth about £35k total.
When we met he had about £18k on credit cards that he was defaulting on, and I helped him to get an IVA to get out of the mess he was in.
He now has about £4K on a loan and £4K on his credit card. So basically £8k in debt and I’m going to have £80k in savings after I pay off the mortgage. I feel if I gave him money he would just spend it on rubbish.
He will be getting circa £65k lump sum next year from his Pension and when his mom passes he will get around £800k, albeit that could be 20 years from now.
WWYD. I feel bad having £80k savings when he has £8k debt. But similarly I don’t want to be giving chunks of money away. This inheritance will be my last btw.
153
Today 01:00
AIBU to refuse to apologise after being blamed for family holiday?
Vote
newchaptermummy
Hi everyone, I really need some outside perspective on a family situation because I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
My parents kindly paid for a family holiday abroad for us all (them, myself, my daughter "DD", my sister "DSIS", and her kids). The whole fallout on the holiday actually started because DSIS’s daughter ("Niece") was caught out in a lie about me. Rather than handling it sensibly, DSIS completely exploded. She spent the rest of the trip causing scenes, storming off, moving sunbeds away from everyone, and bad-mouthing people. She even started bad-mouthing my own child.
Despite how provoking and malicious that was, I refused to engage or react. I stayed completely unbothered, ignored the drama, and focused entirely on making sure DD had a great time playing in the pool (along with any other kids who joined us). The only thing I ever said to the kids was a simple suggestion to play nicely or find something else to play when they were bickering.
When we got home, my mum sent me a huge, scathing text dragging both me and DSIS into "two grown women acting like playground children" and accusing us of selfishly ruining the holiday for her and my dad. Mum said they were left with a big bill to pay, said they were done doing things for us, and told us we should both feel "totally ashamed" of ourselves.
I was heartbroken. I am nothing but supportive of my parents, constantly go out of my way to help them, and they even call my husband their son. I deliberately stayed out of the drama to keep the peace, yet I’ve been thrown under the bus as if I single-handedly ruined the trip. I even told them I’d pay back every penny of the holiday once my pay rise comes through later this year, as the cost is clearly being used as a weapon.
Since that initial text exchange, DSIS has offered a quick apology to Mum, and now everything is magically forgotten. Mum is expecting me to just apologize too and fall in line, completely sweeping under the carpet the outright insults, false accusations, and utter lack of support when my own child was being bad-mouthed. There has been zero recognition or acknowledgment of how unfairly I’ve been treated. I have tried reaching out to mum about how I feel and was ignored, and mum is now going on with our relationship as if nothing was said or done both on and after the holiday.
The easier thing to do would definitely be to move on, pretend it never happened, and ignore how deeply hurt I feel. But is that actually the right thing to do here? Or am I just accepting the role of family scapegoat?
AIBU to stand my ground and refuse to pretend this is all fine? How would you handle this?
160
Today 01:57
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Co-sleeping causing issues with DH
TrianglePlace
I have two bad sleepers - 3 and 5 year olds. They’ve always been terrible sleepers. The older one only wakes once or twice a night and just needs a cuddle whereas the younger one wakes several times and wants you next to him.
After five years of this I am exhausted, so for the past few months, I have started co-sleeping with one or both of them. DC sleep like a log when I’m next to them and after five years, I’m finally getting decent sleep. I really can’t stress the impact the years of limited and broken sleep has had on me.
Except now DH complains he’s alone at night and hates sleeping by himself. He’s generally unhappy we don’t spend enough time together as it is but we both work in demanding jobs and have young children so that’s not unusual. But the sleeping alone is really upsetting him.
So what the fuck do I do? I share a bed with my husband and I have to get up around five times a night between the two children, and destroy myself in the process. Or I sleep with my children and neglect our relationship even further.
Things are very much not 50 / 50. He never really got up with the DC overnight and so on the rare occasion he would get up, they would get themselves so worked up wanting me.
What the fuck do I do?
10
Today 02:06
AIBU to feel put out being asked to bring dessert and ice?
Vote
Bigfishlittlefishcardboardbox39
I will probably get told I’m being unreasonable here but I’m ready if that’s the case 😂 my friend has invited me and my two kids to stay over for the night, it’s been planned for ages, and ahead of next week I’ve been asked to pick up dessert and ice because she doesn’t know what to get the kids for pudding… it’s lovely that she’s having us, but if I were hosting I’d provide food and drinks, not because I have loads of money or anything but I just feel like that’s what you do when friends come over. I would always bring a bottle over to the hosts house whenever I go somewhere, and so maybe this is the equivalent but I don’t know, something about this is making me annoyed and I’m not sure why!
111
Today 01:38
Get heatwave ready 😎
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11yr old DS terrified of being home alone - any tips?
GlibSoundbite
My 11yr old DS is terrified of being home alone. 18 months ago, I started leaving him home alone occasionally for 15/20 mins (max) at a time. He was ok with this and in the last 4 months or so I've wanted to leave him alone for a bit longer e.g. 1.5 hrs. However, he's become increasingly frightened to be home alone for any length of time. He's terrified of intruders.
Conversely, he's happy to be outside or e.g. take the bus, on his own.
I don't know what to do to help him overcome his fears of being home alone. We have a landline and he knows mine and my husband's phone numbers by heart so he is able to ring us easily when he is home.
Any suggestions?
19
Yesterday 16:06
PR disasters thread 26
BigWillyLittleTodger
Let the conversation continue……
499
Today 02:09
17 year old not passed test - took my car out at 1am in the morning
ThisBlueQuail
My 17 year old son who has had 2 driving lessons took my car out at 1am in the morning - would you stop driving lessons?
282
Yesterday 23:09
AIBU to not see friend one to one anymore?
Vote
TheOnlyWayIsYazz
I have a long-term friend, Mandie, who still lives in the city we grew up in. I go back around every six weeks to two months, and she's always keen to meet up.
Mandie has always been a "living for the weekend" type, so as soon as Friday night hits, she's out. However, while her brain still thinks she's 21 and can do a big night on both Friday and Saturday, her body thinks otherwise, and she often ends up on the sofa on the Saturday as she's too tired/hungover to go out again.
The problem is, if I go home, she wants to come out with her on Fridays. This doesn't work for me, as it means either going out straight off the train and getting back to my parents' house really late, or dashing back there, dumping my bags and going straight back out - neither of which are very fair on my parents, who I've actually gone to see! So I've said I can meet on Saturdays.
However, a couple of times now she's bellyached about meeting on Saturdays because she wants to go out on the Friday. I've told her there's nothing to stop her doing both, but I get the whole "Awwh, but you know what I'm like" routine. Then the last couple of times we've agreed to meet on Saturday, she's cancelled last minute with "a touch of flu" or "an upset stomach". (Funny she never gets these on a Friday...)
As such, I only invite her out now if I can include her in existing plans. I invited her out with other friends a few months ago and she responded "I'd prefer it if it was just the two of us". I said I couldn't do that as I'd made plans. I did the same this weekend and got "Not up for meeting with a whole crowd. Would LOVE to meet up just the two of us".
Now I've had a message this morning saying she's been thinking about it and that it feels like I never want to see her one on one anymore, and that she's upset. It's not that I don't want to - it's that I never know if she'll actually turn up. My time at home is precious. I want to see my family, other friends. I can't afford to block time out for someone who doesn't bother. It wouldn't kill her to have a few Fridays off a year!
Should I message back and say as much?
54
Today 00:12
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Pregnancy Tinnitus 24/7 Ringing
Mum44567
Hey posting because I really want to hear if others have experienced the same thing and if it ever resolved.
For context I have always has a bit of tinnitus but I literally NEVER thought about it. Sometimes would hear a faint static if my head was tight to a pillow.
This is my second pregnancy - no issues like this in my first - but since week 28 of pregnancy this time I’ve been having 24/7 ringing in my left ear. It started as that familiar faint static but louder and now it is a straight up ringing sound. Sometimes it just feels like my head is loud… it’s deliberating. I’m now 33 weeks now.
Things I know: my bp is low 90/60, mildly anemic, ferritin is super low.
has anyone had this and bounced back ? 🙏
Today 02:11
I am going to cancel my holiday - friends think I am silly.
Willowcosmos
I had the most wonderful friend since schooldays sadly she died suddenly. I saw her every week and I will miss her so much. Her elderly father has arranged the funeral - he did it in a rush without consulting her siblings and friends. It is right in the middle of the week I am on a solo coach trip to Portugal
I have made the decision to go to the funeral- I can’t bear the thought of not being there and I just wouldn’t enjoy the trip.
My other friends think I am crazy - they say I will lose all my money as insurance won’t cover it ( about £800) and that my friend would want me to go and that it’s just for a few hours and what’s the point …but I know it’s what I really want - I am not religious - I know my friend won’t know but just deep down - I want to be there -
I guess what most people will think but would anyone do the same.
180
Yesterday 18:07
Eyelash extensions gone wrong!!!
Noadded
Help please! 8 hours till we’re off on hols and I’m just back from an eyelash extension appointment that went wrong!! I explicitly said I don’t like Russian lashes and I’ve ended up with heavy black Russian lashes 😭 I hate them. They look ridiculous close up.
She called them 3D lashes if that means anything to anyone.
There’s no time to do anything at a different salon. I’m wondering if anyone knows how long they’ll last?
They’re really stuck on with glue so if I try to pick them off I’ll likely pull out my own lashes.
Also my eyelids feel very heavy. I’m sad I’ve done this before our dream trip. Will the heavy feeling stop when I get used to them? 🤦🏼♀️
27
Yesterday 23:40
Suddenly not able to drink in mid 40s
DoggieNamechange
I'm mid 40s, have always liked a wine, too much probably but other than a slightly expanding waistline I never had any issues.
Recently I look and feel terrible after drinking, Mild rosacea on my face goes red and ichy, I sleep terribly, feel tired and anxious - I also look so bloated. I've put on about 1.5 stone in recent years although eat well and fairly active.
I usually don't drink Mon - Weds and feel so much better but then there's the end of the week where I almost dread how I will feel.
Anyone else?? Is it horemones? Peri like EVERYTHING else apparently is in your 40s? I've had a really stressful few years with family stuff with no real break so can’t untangle cause and effect.
I know I should drink less and would like to use this as a driver however the thought of never having some lovely wine when on hoilidays or when meeting up with friends makes me so sad.
62
Today 00:31
Do you have what could be called a 'uniform'?
ThePtarmiganIsSleeping
I've been fed up with trends and what's in the stores for years, I don't suit most of it and don't much like it either. I don't want to be on trend exactly, but neither do I want to stick out like a sore thumb. I want to merge in, but have my own personal comfort and ease with what i wear.
I will be moving soon from a mountainous place to a comparatively flat place. There are hills but nothing like the strong winds and rain of Cumbria. I am so used to outdoor gear, waterproofs and leggings and have a good amount of high quality togs, but they will only be useful for hiking when I've moved.
I will be working in academia, museum related, 52 yrs old. And I will need to update some of my clothing as i have not bought anything in years. After pulling my head apart over this for a while, I came to the conclusion that I want to simplify in a huge way, so that I feel good in what I wear, and that it serves it's purpose, but does not involve a lot of fuss or thought.
I thought about Steve Jobs and how he only wore the black top and jeans throughout his career; mostly as a branding exercise admittedly (he chose Issey Miyake and I can't quite afford that!) but also as a solution for decision fatigue. And i kind of like this idea very much, scaled for a woman, and with a touch more variation.
Does anyone do this, like stick to a sort of uniform of reliable outfits? I would love to know more about it if so, and how you go about it! It doesn't matter what it is, I am just really interested in simplifying it all and choosing what works for me at a pricepoint i can afford.
16
Yesterday 23:01
Bedtime saviours
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Ibiza dress for 40 year old?
Trillio
I need a glam-ish dress for a night out in Ibiza. This is tricky as im definitely not an "ibiza glam night out" sort of person! Its for a nice bar/club, so I want to be able to dance and not get too hot, but also feel a little bit special compared to everyday dresses.
Im short, size 8/10, small boots, small waist. Happy to show arms/legs. Im 40 and while I don't believe in having to dress a certain way, I also don't feel comfortable in many of the brands i used to wear when i would go out dressed up! I tend to suit blues and pastels but im open to suggestions. Max budget £150. Help!
6
Today 02:13
Warning message from EXW
clairebear372
im in my 30s and share ds3 with DH 40s. he shares ds12 with his ex wife. they have had a lot of conflict with courts after their divorce with custody and maintenance. shes a very difficult person i believe DH has told me their past issues stating how difficult their relationship was etc.
at the beginning of our relationship she sent me a message saying i dont know anything about him that she has court evidence of how he was physically verbally and financially abusive to her. she said when this comes to light she can show me
things. i brushed this off as bitterness and jealousy.
fast forward a few years and our relationship hasn’t been great recently between me & DH for a while and im starting to go back to her message and feel their maybe elements of truth?
39
Today 01:26
Chin hairs
probablyamunreasonable
What fresh hell is this. I’m finding little hairs in places I didn’t before which need to be plucked out. In the right (wrong) lighting I can see a few fine hairs. Not enough for a beard by any stretch but this is not a problem I’ve had until recently.
I’m only in my mid-30s, I didn’t expect this for at least another 15 years.
Please tell me I’m not alone and how do you get rid of them!
141
Yesterday 22:47
Part-time teacher and Ofsted call on non-working day with childcare commitments
YellowDaisies123
So im going back to teaching in September, 3 days a week (wednesday-friday). My school is due Ofsted anytime. We will get the call on a Monday which is a non working day for me. I'm going part time because my little one is under 2 so I have childcare commitments as well as choosing to be more available for her.
I have a feeling it'll be an expectation that ALL staff will be required to attend once the call has come in both on the Monday after school and the Tuesday. My husband works and is self employed but doesn't work from home so going in at the drop of a hat is a no no for me on a Monday - I cant just leave my daughter and have nobody to just pass her to at short notice. I can however go in on the Tuesday as my husband can take it off if he's aware the day before. My question is, has anyone else been in this situation? I know I'll be made to feel guilty for not attending on the Monday but what do you do? Any experiences and thoughts would be highly appreciated! X
75
29/07/2026 10:34
AIBU to feel too frightened to walk my dog after this?
Vote
Felixfox
I have a German shepherd. I specifically chose a German shepherd because I thought people wouldn’t mess with me. Long story short, this guy stalked us for an hour on a near deserted common with woodland etc. I was on the path back to the car park and just happened to notice him dip behind a large hedge, about 75 metres in front of me. I waited for 10/15 minutes. Eventually I thought to myself, no way did I see that, and started up the track. A few seconds later he came out, stood in front of me for a few seconds (at a distance) and then disappeared into the heather and trees. I could not believe it. He had been waiting for me. I called the police and was beside myself. Occasionally, I would see him peer out from behind tree. After what seemed a long time they turned up but they never found him. I don’t know what to do. I am terrified every time I take my dog for a walk. I have had therapy which didn’t really work. I feel so angry and stuck. How dare he do this to me? Advice PLEASE!!! X
86
Yesterday 23:06
Family holidays and deals
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M&S advert for crotchless thongs
Vote
Dutchhouse14
Doom scrolling on fb as cant sleep.
An advert pops up on my feed from M&S for crotchless thongs. Have I actually fallen asleep and am dreaming ?! WTAF is M&S thinking?!! They appear to be stocking Anne Summers-talk about rebrand of underwear dept!
189
Today 01:31
Can anyone help me identify a family board game from years ago
Ladybird69
I’m looking for a family board game that I had years ago any help would be greatly appreciated
6
Today 01:13
Pixie haircut for over 50s?
Opheliarising
I am feeling the need for a change and am considering a micro pixie cut.
I'm 52, 5'3" about a size 18, rarely wear makeup. I also look my age- puffy eyes, wrinkles etc. I'm not vain so objectively I would say I was quite plain,not ugly just very ordinary looking,oval face nice eye colour no stand out features.
Do these cuts only look good on models? I had really short har about 25 years ago- I liked it but my now DH didn't really. I'll post a couple of pictures of the style I like that i found on pinterest. . Have been asking AI and quite like the mock up it did but think I need a real life opinion. I could post the AI image as well but don't really want to out myself!
34
Today 01:43
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